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<p id="slogan">A <em>network</em> for families in British Columbia that
have <em>adopted</em> children from China.</p>

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<h2>Amy Klatzkin on Jane Brown</h2>
<img id="sidepics" src="../images/sidepics.jpg" alt="happy children">

<p>When we held our first Playshops in San Francisco, many parents were
worried--not so much about Jane, who had spoken here several times and
contributed a number of helpful articles to our newsletter, but about
how they were doing as parents and whether their kids were OK. Others
who were unfamiliar with Jane worried that she might make their kids
think thoughts that would disturb them. But they came anyway--in fact,
we had twice the number we expected. For those with major concerns, Jane
was available for phone calls and email not only at home in Arizona but
the entire time she was in San Francisco, and many parents attended the
followup session to ask questions and discuss their worries. For the
parents, the playshops brought up a lot of anxiety, a lot of entitlement
issues.</p>

<p>By contrast, the kids had a blast. These playshops are fun as well as
educational, with lots of physical activities and role playing. Many of
the kids arrived at the Playshops nervous and left relaxed. It's quite
an experience for them to hear that other kids just like them think
about the same things they think about (but often don't tell us because
they don't know how).</p>

<p>For example, we learned that among the children who did not attend
school in San Francisco (where the majority of school children are
Asian), all had been teased for being Chinese; and absolutely all of
them had been teased for being adopted. They shared ways to handle
teasing and felt empowered by recognizing that they were not alone. They
felt more in control. Although they realized that they couldn't stop
people from saying hurtful things, they learned new ways to handle
situations that we parents simply can't protect them from. At school,
our kids are on their own and they have to deal with whatever nonsense
their classmates come up with about Chineseness or adoption. At Playshop
our kids learn that THEY are the experts on adoption, that they have
choices about how to respond.</p>

<p>Jane really emphasizes the strength they have in one another, the
very special relationship they have with children who share this part of
their story. And we parents could see it in the way they interacted
after the Playshops. There was more tenderness, more physical closeness
among them, especially the older ones to the younger ones. And no one
wanted to go home!</p>

<p>After the older kids' session we parents were ready to pack up, but
the kids did not want to separate. Jane joined about 10 families for
dinner at a nearby Chinese restaurant. And still the kids did not want
to leave each other. So we walked up a big hill to get ice cream. And
STILL they did not want to go home. We wandered over to a cafe to view a
photo exhibit of multicultural families. By then it was 8 PM, 6 hours
after the start of their Playshop, and the parents were beat, but the
kids were still energized and reluctant to be apart.</p>

<p>Last November we had our second set of Playshops with Jane, and the
atmosphere for the parents was completely different. Parental anxiety
was very low, and though a few kids were reluctant to come (it's hard to
stir up that pot), they all showed up and stayed and once again came out
of the Playshop invigorated and physically close to each other. The
follow up session on Sunday was well attended but low key; parents were
more curious, less worried. The kids, meanwhile, had a riotous soccer
game with adult Korean adoptees: FCC vs AKA, and FCC miraculously won.</p>

<p>One of the big lessons my child is learning from these Playshops is
to value her adopted peers for the special life experiences they share,
and she's taken a new interest in the many little FCCers she used to
ignore. Jane helps our children see that they are part of something big,
that they have a role to play in learning what this all means and
passing on their knowledge and experience to the children coming after
them. She helps them see themselves not as victims of a sad past but
owners of brilliant lives whose futures are theirs to create. Without
glossing over past losses, Jane helps them see that sometimes the
hardest experiences in life offer the greatest opportunities for growth.
Over time, these playshops will be a great source of strength for our
kids.</p>

<p>Amy Klatzkin</p>

<p>Go back to the <a href="index.htm">Jane Brown archive</a>.</p>

<p class="fineprint">Jane Brown is both an adoption social
worker/educator and an adoptive &amp; foster mother of nine children,
some of whom are now grown. She lives and works in Arizona. She serves
on the editorial board of Adoptive Families Magazine and writes a
regular parenting column for the publication. She is the creator of
Adoptive Playshops which is a series of workshops for adopted children
age five+, their non-adopted siblings, and adoptive parents in which
children are helped through playful, multisensory activities to explore
growing up in an adoptive family and racial identity, plus develop
skills for dealing with societal attitudes and beliefs about adoption
and includes helping children resist and confront racism and bullying.
She can be reached at: janebrown77@earthlink.net or at: (602) 690-5338.</p>
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